Hello everyone, and welcome to the Weekly Nutwatch, providing you with the best of the worst of the Religious Writes! This week’s column is dedicated to LadyShea, not only for being a wonderful person, but for telling me about one of the most incredibly backward and bigoted sites I have ever seen. Let’s take a trip back in time with this very special brand of fundamentalist non-thought, a viewpoint where melanin is destiny, yea, verily, a very special kind of Christian love, because this week’s Nutwatch takes on
A big part – indeed, probably the entire part – of that identity is a skin as white as the driven snow, before it gets all slushy and yucky with inbreeding and other devices of the devil. But let’s take this one step at a time, starting with their homepage, which features the cute little two-line poem
Kingdom Identity Ministries is a Politically Incorrect Christian Identity outreach ministry to God's chosen race (true Israel, the White, European peoples).
Without Kingdom Identity Ministries, the Europeans living in the United States might be unaware that they are actually Israelites.
We proclaim the Gospel of the Kingdom (government according to God's Law) through books, tracts, tapes, videos, the American Institute of Theology Bible Correspondence Course, our international Herald of Truth Radio Broadcasts, a Prison Ministry, Biblical Counseling, Seminars, and other means.
What could those mysterious “other means” be? Little pamphlets stuck under windshield wipers? Knocking on the doors of strangers on Sunday mornings? Or just a good old-fashioned lynching? Let’s take a look at the beliefs of this “White Makes Right” mindset (and I use the term loosely) in
The purpose of Kingdom Identity Ministries is to establish God's heavenly Kingdom upon this earth;
Most fundamentalist websites have their own lopsided ways of looking at the world, but this one takes it to a new extreme. If God’s heavenly kingdom is on earth, then what’s in heaven?
And I’m still wondering where all the non-white people go. Maybe there’ll be some heavenly cotton fields for us to pick.
to proclaim the Gospel of the Kingdom through any and all righteous means; to identify the true Children of Israel, God's chosen people.
Well, the latter shouldn’t be too hard. Just run tests on DNA and exclude anyone whose mitochondria can be traced to some black woman.
We recognize that membership in the body of Christ is by Divine election only, not by man's appointment, and therefore maintain no membership rolls or issue any membership cards.
That’s a pity, because I would love to design some membership cards for these people. They could have a neat acronym, like C.H.R.I.S.T.I.A.N. : Christian Harboring Racist Issues, Superiority Towards Indians And Negroes.
Absolutely no money whatsoever is expended for any personal use;
And the word “gullible” isn’t in the dictionary.
100% of all tithes, offerings, gifts, bequests and other donations to Kingdom Identity Ministries is used to the glory of our Messiah Yahshua (Jesus Christ) for the advancement of the Kingdom of God.
The reasoning, such as it is, behind the Twilight Zone beliefs of the Kingdom Identity Ministries are spelled out in a Nicene-Creed-like statement which offers countless bible verses to back up the bigotry. I’ve left out those verses for the sake of brevity and clearness, but you can see them all if you click on the Kingdom Identity Minstry’s lovingly detailed
WE BELIEVE God chose unto Himself a special race of people that are above all people upon the face of the earth. These children of Abraham through the called-out seedline of Isaac and Jacob were to be a blessing to all the families of the earth who bless them and a cursing to those that curse them.
And they are really irritated by those who just ignore them. That’s a burning offense.
The descendants of the twelve sons of a Jacob, called "Israel", were married to God.
Sex with God and/or Jesus seems to be a prevalent theme in the more fundamentalist websites, but with this one, the motivation is quite understandable. I mean, how many women would want to associate with lunatics like these?
WE BELIEVE the White, Anglo-Saxon, Germanic and kindred people to be God's true, literal Children of Israel.
Children of the Corn, more like.
Only this race fulfills every detail of Biblical Prophecy and World History concerning Israel
How exactly does “World History” need to be fulfilled?
and continues in these latter days to be heirs and possessors of the Covenants, Prophecies, Promises and Blessings YHVH God made to Israel. This chosen seedline making up the "Christian Nations" of the earth stands far superior to all other peoples in their call as God's servant race.
So basically, they can brown-nose (maybe that should be white-nose?) better than anyone else? In that case, they’re welcome to their self-proclaimed “massa likes us the mostest” status.
WE BELIEVE that the Man Adam (a Hebrew word meaning: ruddy, to show Blood, flush, turn rosy) is father of the White Race only...
And incest kept that bloodline pure. Let’s hear it for incest.
Adamic man is made trichotomous, that is, not only of body and soul, but having an implanted spirit giving him a higher form of consciousness
He sees dead people.
and distinguishing him from all the other races of the earth.
Perish the thought that he should have anything in common with darkies, brownies, reddies, yellowies and so on.
WE BELIEVE that as a chosen race… we are not to be partakers of the wickedness of this world system, but are called to come out and be a separated people.
All three of you? That shouldn’t be too hard. I know a hole in the ground that’s just the right size.
This includes segregation from all non-white races, who are prohibited in God's natural divine order from ruling over Israel.
Damn those “non-whites”. They always have to be washed at a different temperature than the whites, have you noticed?
Race-mixing is an abomination in the sight of Almighty God, a satanic attempt meant to destroy the chosen seedline, and is strictly forbidden by His commandments.
This must be the lost eleventh commandment : Thou shalt not screw anyone who is not the shade of an eggshell, yea, verily, a white eggshell. For know ye not that satan has corrupted even the very eggs, that some are brown?
WE BELIEVE men and women should conduct themselves according to the role of their gender in the traditional Christian sense that God intended. Homosexuality is an abomination before God and should be punished by death.
Lesbianism is a strange but delightful thing to witness, and should be videotaped for further perusal by the ministers.
WE BELIEVE that the United States of America fulfills the prophesied place where Christians from all the tribes of Israel would be regathered.
It should therefore be renamed “the United States of Israel”, one nation under Kingdom Identity Ministries.
It is here in this blessed land that God made a small one a strong nation,
Is that the Cherokee or the Iroquois?
feeding His people with knowledge and understanding through Christian pastors who have carried the light of truth and blessings unto the nations of the earth.
Along with smallpox.
North America is the wilderness to which God brought the dispersed seed of israel.
After a long hiatus in Europe, where most of them apparently forgot that they were ever Israelites. Luckily Kingdom Identity Ministries is there to remind them. But let’s move on from this Lebensraum to a few more practical matters; you might be interested to know that a job (of sorts) is posted for
WE NEED A QUALITY DEDICATED CHRISTIAN WHITE LADY
and a pure-breeding champion housebroken French poodle.
Varied responsibilities…
Bring your own knee pads.
An important, interesting, fulfilling life on rural acreage located in the beautiful Ozark Mountains.
You can pretend you’re Laura Ingalls. Building outhouses and slaughtering hogs will never have seemed more fun!
Must be racially pure,
Nein, there have never been any Juden in mein family! May I begin to procreate for the master race now?
honest and of high moral character. Genuine sweet, gentle, feminine mannerisms (not a pretense) is required. Government, Jewish, or other agents DO NOT qualify!
What other “agents” are there beside government and Jewish? Agent Orange?
Position should be regarded as a calling in Christian service, not just another job. Room, board, and spending money will be provided.
Candy is still sold by the penny, right?
Girls under 18 need to have their parents' permission.
Girls under 8, bring your mothers along too. And to show its deep concern for the needs of today’s children, Kingdom Identity Ministries features a line of interesting products for the wee ones, from etiquette guides to spanking sticks, in the heartwarming catalog
The following seven Character Building Classics were originally published in the late 1800's...
It was the best of times, it was the whitest of times.
I guess the “Young Men” are too busy joining the Jesus Youth to worry about unwanted children. That definitely appears to be the province of the women, but never fear. Kingdom Identity Ministries provides for the Kinder, Kuche und Kirche gender with
What does the extra four dollars buy you – a lace-trimmed gag? Then there’s this little beauty; for only two dollars, you can beat your children like dirty laundry with the patented and alliterative Speak Softly Spanking Stick.
Our Speak Softly Spanking Stick may not be hickory, but it serves the same purpose in teaching children good old-fashioned discipline. Each 16" x 1 1/2" stick is imprinted with Scripture verses. $2.00
Maybe if you hit the kid hard enough, the verse will be um, imprinted on him too, and then after the bruising fades, he’ll always have a bible verse to look at. Or you could just tattoo the verse itself on his forearm, like a number or something.
Of course, just when I thought I had seen it all, I clicked on the aptly titled
As in “Special Education”. This collection features charts tracing the development of races and bumper stickers proclaiming that
Happiness is : America Under God’s Law
With liberty, justice and spanking sticks for all!
And then there was this admonition, which doesn’t seem to have a male counterpart.
The double standard is alive and well and screwing “non-whites” everywhere. However, if your taste runs more to books, make sure to visit the, uh, extensive library of racist books featured on The Seedline. That word crops up a lot, by the way, since Kingdom Identity Ministries, having no character/mind of their own, derives what self-image they can from exalted ancestors either real or imaginary. They are like a potato plant : all the good is underground.
If christian women did more than birth racially pure babies, I’d guess that the next author was Arya N. Union. But let’s move on to the last and most hysterical part of this website, which features a large cartoon that manages to denigrate Jews, Africans (especially the babies) and liberals simultaneously; this is the pink-tinted
Some of you will be disturbed by what you see on our web site and in the material we distribute. You are not interested in truth, and will use overworn clichés such as "you can make the Bible say anything"
Well, duh. What have you just been doing?
You follow the religious traditions of men, yet reject our belief in traditional Christianity, "the faith once delivered", because you love the world more than God.
And this makes white baby Jesus cry?
We are careful to support what we say with verifiable facts. For instance, the Hebrew word for Adam (Strong's Concordance #120) means "ruddy, to show blood, flush, turn rosy", in other words, a White man…
Or an albino. Maybe Adam was really Elric of Melnibone.
How will some of you respond to this knowledge, will it be with more Biblical, historical, and scientific facts, logic and common sense? No, instead of joyfully receiving this marvelous truth, many of you will react with emotionalism!
And you will not send us money either!
…It is not… hate to point out that all peoples are not created equal (neither are any two people within the same race). Anybody who has ever had a pet that they love, should be able to see it is not hate to admit that they were not given many characteristics of a higher species.
So if I had a walking, talking pet that could learn and come up with ideas and concepts, and looked a lot like me and was able to produce fertile young with me, I should have it put down immediately, lest it become uppity and think that it was created equal?
God Himself made the races different, and He found it to be good; He loves all of His creations in their proper order.
It’s a colorimetric order, apparently. Is that the only variable He can handle, or do midgets and Siamese twins also need to move to the back of the line?
Observed and verifiable facts show that the White man has excelled in the areas we equate with being civilized (Law, government, his religion [Christianity], architecture, art, music, clothing…
Yes, all those Africans just run around naked in the jungle, don’t you know.
We prefer the culture and abilities historically demonstrated by Christian White men over that of all other races. However, if you value athletic ability or some other trait above these achievements, you may consider another race (or even a species of animal) to be superior.
Let’s see… what species of animal could be inferior to Kingdom Identity Ministries? We’d really have to get down to a microscopic level before any parallels could be made.
Another of the many examples we are taught in Scripture is given in Numbers 25, where God stops the plague in Israel because Phinehas executes the race-mixing couple…
At that point, God has the most amazing insight. He doesn’t need to waste His time with wimpy plagues when He can just get the homicidal Israelites to do His killing for Him! Awed by His own brilliance, He pats Phinehas on the head and tells him not to worry about the fact that Phinehas found the dead man to be so very hot.
We teach you this in Christian love,
And Christian discipline. The Welting Whips are sold in the back room (for adult white married heterosexual couples only).
because we want you to grow to a maturity where you can understand the "strong meat" of Scripture;
I think amateur videotapes of the Strong Meat might also be sold in the back room.
but alas, some of you are dull of hearing and will probably remain babes consuming pabulum in the nursery schools of churchianity forever.
Babes? Yes, Kingdom Identity Ministries caters to those tastes too. Back room. You know where that is.
Stop your ears if you must, but we thank God for the elect remnant who have ears to hear and eyes to see. If you think you have eyes to see and ears to hear, send for our material and find out who you are, where you are from, why you are here, and where you are going.
and how much your credit limit is. Do let us know about that.
Learn "the way of God more perfectly", including who the enemies of our Saviour and race are…
According to the cartoon depicted on this page, those enemies appear to be Jews and African babies, though not necessarily in that order. I almost feel insulted that Kingdom Identity Ministries left the Asians out – I mean, do we get into heaven, or do we stir-fry in hell, or what? Billions of people deserve to know!
I’ve seen some websites penned by deeply insecure fundies, but never before have they extended their personal neuroses to envelope different races. The “Identity” crisis of the authors of this website has to be seen to be believed, backed up as it is by their quaint documentation and almost hysterical insistence that white makes right. Their “seedline” just met the weedkiller.
Till next week, everyone!
QueenofSwords