Hello everyone, and welcome to another serving of Nut soup for the mind! I’m your host, QueenofSwords, and this Nutwatch is dedicated to fellow Infidel devnet, who I hope will enjoy this week’s Nut as much as I did. An obsession with sex and a wildly skewed view of atheism are the unfortunate fruits of a church which seems to be a bit too free with the communion wine; how the mighty are fallen, because this church once received detailed personal revelations from God – addendums to the bible, if you will. Naturally, that made them feel extra-special, and perhaps this writeup will do the same, because this week’s Nutwatch takes on the Ozymandias of fundamentalism known as
In perhaps the longest self-description I’ve ever seen, this church describes itself as
No-nonsense, Honest, Direct,
Redundant,
Prophetic, Apostolic, Priesthood of All Believers (Men and Women), Post-Trib, Sabbatarian, Messianic-Israelite, Patriarchal, Evangelical, Received Text, Johannine Tradition & Communion, End-Time Gatherers, New Birth, Holiness, Restorationist, New Covenant Torah, NT Charismatic, Sola Scriptura
and Kitchen Sink. Still, the New Covenant Church of God has such an unusual beginning and unique ideas that the above litany is more than justified, and the former is detailed in their article
On 27 June 1984 a young man called Lev-Tsiyon haEphraim (in English, "Heart of Zion, the Ephraimite"), a descendant of the Israelite tribe of Ephraim,
As opposed to a descendant of the musical tribe called Quest.
received an unexpected and unsought for revelation from Yahweh commanding him to begin a small fellowship in his home town in preparation for the restoration and establishment of the Millennial Zion.
The Millenial Zion : established 1984. Population : one Ephraimite and a few of his closest imaginary friends.
In 1988 he received another revelation commanding him to leave his homeland
Ah, deportation. That’ll override the Fellowship of the Millenial Zion any day.
and relocate to the little Kingdom of Norway where Yahweh could continue His work of restoration.
The peripatetic Yahweh hasn’t yet decided where his Millenial Zion will be. It must be like throwing darts at a world map.
For nine years he toiled in that country, raising several small congregations, and all the while receiving hundreds of revelations, visions and prophecies which would eventually be collated into a book of 470 revelations called the OLIVE BRANCH.
That reminds me of a restaurant. “When you’re in the Olive Branch, you’re crazy!”
The early RCF and its successor, the Independent Church, were… undergoing several name changes until Yahweh was satisfied and renamed the community the New Covenant Church of God. In 1997 He commanded a small remnant to relocate to Sweden and there establish the first proto-Firstborn Colony.
Yahweh seems like a very hard-to-please character. And you’d think that an omniscient god might have figured out the correct name and the correct location of his bestest and most special church the first time. Still, I can see why the “small remnant” sticks with the New Covenant Church of God; they’re probably terrified to think for themselves, lest they meet the terrible fates described in the article
There are many great minds who had no belief in God and yet were spiritual infants compared to some of the most inexperienced Christians I have met.
You mean they didn’t trot around Europe trying to decide on a name for their church? The horror!
In virtually every case these brilliant men and women lived in a state of denial and many were bitterly unhappy.
If the author wasn’t closely acquainted with these people, how could he say they were bitterly unhappy? And if he was closely acquainted with them, how could they be anything but?
Having once walked the road of atheism myself I can testify that it is one of the most lonely and frightening states of being there is unless
you have a little nightlight shaped like a bunny.
you are in a state of complete and utter denial.
But then you’d be a fundamentalist.
The more selfless of this category of people live only for what they can do on this earth to better the lives of those around them, but even so they must life with the horrific thought that even this is ultimately purposeless.
The author’s threshold for horror appears to be extremely low. For his own sake, I hope he never watches a potentially scary movie like Bambi – I can imagine him curled into the fetal position, sobbing uncontrollably, were he ever to see some of the real horrors of life.
…Existence would consist simply of surviving the death of one solar system after another until the whole universe died. That is the belief of almost every atheistic cosmologist that I have ever read.
We are not made privy to the beliefs of christian cosmologists, muslim cosmologists, or jewish cosmologists.
Now I don't know what you think, but such a world view makes me depressed.
Therefore, it’s obviously a Bad, Bad, Atheistic Thing and should be countered by vast doses of teddy bears and wowwipops.
Indeed if you meditate on such a world-view for too long you are bound to go completely insane.
You can tell the author’s given a lot of thought to this.
In order to cope with their unbelief they simply shut out the consequences of their belief from their consciousness. It's just too horrible not to.
Quick, smelling-salts for the author, before he swoons from the sheer horror of it all. O tempora! O mores! Oh, the humanity!
All unbelief is a kind of atheism, so a Christian who disbelieves parts of the Bible is actually a partial atheist.
So does half of the Christian go to hell while the other half goes to heaven? This sounds a little bit… difficult… but I keep in mind that “with God, all things are possible”.
A Christian who says he believes in homosexual behaviour is clearly manifesting unbelief and atheism.
And maybe even gayness. You think? I suppose that Christians who don’t believe in homosexual behavior must think that someone made up all these stories of same-sex love just to scare them, sort of like the boogeyman.
And I suppose you could argue that people who pick and choose what they want to believe about God aren't really Christians at all.
They must be atheists too. I think the total number of atheists in the world just increased by a factor of about a hundred, thereby justifying the author’s paranoia and perhaps the New Covenant Church of God’s quick scampering to yet another country.
There would be a lot more scientists who were creationists if they didn't have mental blockages
that somehow prevent their brains from draining out of their ears.
caused, for example, by the desire for sinful behaviour or by painful life experiences.
Yes, being disillusioned about creationism can be painful at first. What do you know, there’s a diamond in the dungheap after all.
I have been astonished to discover, for example, that some of the strongest champions of atheistic evolution are those whose main motive is to justify a sexually permissive lifestyle.
I’m betting that the author had to get down and dirty in the glory-holed laboratories of such sex-mad scientists to come up with such a startling revelation – which would explain the modest maidenly reluctance to supply any names.
I suggest that this is, in fact, the major reason for atheism in the world…
Does that go for partially Christian atheists, too? And how about the author? He was supposedly an atheist too… though probably the kind who missed out on all this wonderful sex and perhaps feels a little cheated as a result. I mean, come on. Atheism = free love, it’s practically a recruiting slogan. You can’t blame the poor man for being frustrated when he didn’t get any.
Now the desire to be sexually permissive may not be the only motivation - there are often others, though this is without doubt the major one.
This stifled desire, in the author at least, has clearly taken on Arklike proportions. It must be – what’s the word? – horrible to suffer like that.
The idea, for example, that homosexuality activity should be illegal, as it once was... is usually enough for most people to reject God. For them God is just a straight jacket…
Freudian slip?
This was certainly the spiritual condition of the world in the days of Noah and we are moving into a period of history where exactly the same conditions exist.
Making the flood seem pathetic in retrospect. I mean, how much of the world’s population do you have to kill to get a little obedience?
It is very easy to prove that all the following are the fruits of atheistic evolutionist thinking:
Brace yourselves for the dirty laundry list.
communism, nazism, racism, imperialism, atheism, humanism, materialism, amoralism, scientism, pantheism, monopolism, anarchism, occultism, Social Darwinism, behaviourism, Freudianism, abortion, the drug culture, promiscuity, slavery
Charles Darwin, plantation owner.
pornography, genocide, chauvinism, New-Ageism, euthanasia, pollution, bestiality, Satanism, homosexuality, criminality, cannibalism and witchcraft.
Everyone knows that it was the founder of atheism who said, “Take this, all of you, and eat it. This is my body” – thereby setting a human-munching precedent for hungry atheists everywhere.
And yet evolutionists consistently deny their responsibility for any of these things...
Man, that must have come as a stunning news flash for the New Covenant Church of God.
Almost everyone who has literally experienced visiting hell describes it as "under their feet" - I myself have experienced its pull downwards, as many who have had out-of-body experiences will testify.
This would sound more like an out-of-mind experience, if the author only had a mind. As it is, he comes off as a mobile hormone, considering the church’s rather novel take on everything to do with sex. Even the bible isn’t good enough for their god when it comes to sex, because (rather like the European migrations) he’s issued new instructions on the topic of whether it is better
1. It is written that it is better for a man to marry than to burn, and some have therefore supposed that to burn is born of righteousness provided they marry (1 Cor.7:9).
2. But I, the Lord, have never said that it is good to burn;
Unless you’re an atheistic evolutionist cannibal, in which case, burn away!
8. The soul of fallen man is crafty and desperately wicked and deviseth many sophisticated arguments to justify its fallen inclinations.
The gospel according to projection.
9. And behold, this generation is the worst of all in this matter, saith the Lord, because unlike other generations, it is largely free of the superstitions and ignorance of its ancestors.
Except for the atheistic urges to keep slaves and maybe eat them, too!
10. But it hath overturned the priestcraft of false religion and substituted this for the priestcraft and gods of materialism and atheism;
“Wherein this generation doth bow down, yea verily, before the graven images of Hierophant Ingersoll, and doth hearken to the Grand Wizard Sagan!”
14. And thus the world groaneth in sin
or orgasm. Oh, sorry, same thing. Sex is a thing to be feared and controlled in the loopyland of the New Covenant Church of God because it can lead to demonic possession, as explained in the article
Menstruation is absolutely not a sin in itself…
Unless you get any of it on a man, in which case, it’s horrible!
What is a biblical sin - and it's stated unambiguously in the Scriptures - is that to have sex during this time is an abomination irrespective of whether we understand the reasons or not.
And what about any children you conceive this way? Won’t someone please think of the children?
Demonisation, if it occurs, is not the result of having sex during menstruation but of disobeying Yahweh's commandment. This gives demons associated with sexual impurity the legal right to either enter or harass
Demons’ rights enforced by ACLU – Anti Christ Legal Union.
without such a couple knowing it and removes whatever divine protection is given to those previously chaste and pure.
Menstrual blood seems to trump Jesus’s blood, for some strange reason.
There is a divine, loving purpose for abstinence during menstruation and the seven day period afterwards that has, in part, to do with the electrochemistry of the body.
In case you’re wondering about this strange electrochemistry that is more powerful than the christian god (sort of like a Lightning Lass vs. Yahweh duel), wonder no longer. The mysterious powers of the female body are spelled out in yet another article about
Our bodies are highly delicate, finely-tuned instruments.
“Our minds… baaaa.”
They not only have chemical properties but electrical and magnetic properties as well. Perhaps you have been in the vicinity of someone and felt "drained" by them, as though your life-force had been sucked out of you.
I believe that’s called a blow job.
This is caused by a polarisation of the body.
So cutting-edge that you won’t even find it in the Journal of Parapsychology!
Menstruation and child-birth enormously change the polarity of a woman's body. A woman (-) bearing a female child (-) will be far more polarised that one carrying a male (+) and therefore will take longer to normalise the electrical field around her body.
Just imagine what would happen to a woman who had female triplets, (-) and (-) and (-). She would be so polarised that she could supply electricity to every appliance in the house!
By way of a testimony I would like to add a personal experience. On one occasion when I had, unknown to either of us, lain with my wife at or near the moment she began her menstruation,
You mean she didn’t mark the relevant dates down on the calendar in bright red? Sinner! Harlot!
I later during the night had a vision in which I saw the bed covered in detrius and worms.
Then the Holy Spirit, in the form of a dove, floated down to the bed, saying something about “the early bird”.
I knew instinctively that the bed had somehow become "unclean", and learned the next day that my wife had begun her period… Afterwards I could not rest comfortably in bed until I had had the sheets removed and washed.
Surely a real Christian would have burned them. Also the woman. But I suppose it was necessary to keep her around in case she was required for the tasks of
I have, with one exception, always known the sex of my child (or the child of someone I feel close to) and its physical appearance before conception.
Madame Cleo! What are you doing here?
…an invisible power, knowing which sperm will produce one particular child, selects that sperm and makes sure it reaches the egg ahead of the others. Otherwise, how could one explain visions of children who have not yet come into existence?
Certainly not through delusions that are off any chart the American Psychological Association ever drew up.
Fathers and mothers should bless their unborn in the Name of Christ often, preferably by the laying on of one or more hands over the womb. They should pray for, and with, their unborn.
Perhaps a small copy of the OLIVE BRANCH might be, um, inserted so that the unborn can read it and benefit from its wisdom.
And bear this in mind -- children in the womb are closer to Heaven than we are… They are not dominated by their physical senses as they are when they are born into the world, but are intensely spiritual…
All efforts should therefore be made to keep them inside the womb for the rest of their natural lives. Keep your legs tightly shut and pray that the child remains close to Heaven for ever!
The spiritual becomes unconscious quite quickly, and even though in sleep the baby is very much in touch with the spiritual centres, the veil of forgetfulness of his heavenly home rapidly comes down.
Thank heavens the New Covenant Church of God is there to remind baby of his previous incarnation as the Dalai Lama of fundamentalism.
When my son was five months "old" in the womb, he was set apart and consecrated to the Lord's service. He already knew this, of course, because he was set apart in Heaven before he came here.
Set apart from all the other prebabies? I guess even in Heaven, they knew of the terrible fate that awaited this unfortunate child. And he’ll probably never know anything beyond the propaganda preached by the itinerant church, since we are warned in solemn capslock :
THOSE WHO SCOFF AT THESE THINGS WILL HAVE THE WHOLE OF ETERNITY TO REGRET THEIR FOLLY AND UNBELIEF.
If the alternative is an eternity spent in the presence of paranoid people who are afraid of menstruation, sex, science and rational thought, I shall be sure to scoff even more often. Although I can only feel sorry for people who idolize the unborn to that extent, since there’s no way the post-uterine child can live up to such a legacy of heavenly holiness. No wonder the New Covenant Church of God resents atheists so much; they have one of the worst cases of sour grapes that I’ve ever seen.
Till next week, everyone!
QueenofSwords